


Selfish

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken | Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, F/M, First Time, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 06:08:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16717837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Eliwood and Ninian are finally married, but both have some insecurities that they need to work through together.





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ: this fic has mentions of sexual assault, please stay safe and don't read it if it might upset you! I didn't want to put an archive warning bc then people would be like "ew elinini noncon wtf is wrong with you" which it's not but please know this now.  
>   
> also important it's rated m and not e because theres no explicit fucking but this IS a nsfw fic so be warned!

Ninian pulled the sheets down, exposing more of her naked body in the dim light. "Do keep going," she said, gazing into Eliwood's eyes.

"Forgive me if I don't get everything right, love," Eliwood said between kisses. "I don't have any experience to go on."

"You're a virgin?" Ninian said blankly.

"Yes," he answered, somehow a bit sheepish though his hands continued to roam her body. "I know it's a silly ideal, but I always wanted to save myself for marriage. I like the idea of having my first time be with the one I'm to spend my life with, that's all."

She smiled and pressed a kiss onto his neck. "I don't see anything wrong with that."

"What about you?" he said, half jokingly, "Have you ever been intimate with someone before?"

She grew suddenly still. "Yes," she said, voice somber.

"Oh, I don't mind," Eliwood said with a reassuring smile, "you needn't worry about me fussing over virginity, I–"

"No," said Ninian, "there's something I've been meaning to tell you." She fidgeted with a corner of the sheets. "You... you should know."

"What is it, my love?"

She took a long, slow breath, shutting her eyes for a moment, then looked up at him.

He caressed her side in a feeble attempt at easing her tension. "Tell me anything," he said.

"When I served as an oracle in the dragons' underworld, I would often be visited by... some of the larger dragons... one in particular. He had taken a liking to my body."

"Well, did you want him to visit?" The question slipped from his mouth without him thinking, in the same lighthearted tone that he had been using before.

"No!" she said.

Silence hung in the air for a moment.

Eliwood looked down at his hands. One was on her breast, the other on her waist, fingers splayed over her ribcage. His leg lay on top of hers. He had hoped they would grow even more intertwined. He stood in the same place as someone who had hurt her before; he was hurting her now, he had no right, he was no better than that dragon, was he? He jerked his hands and feet away, leaving no contact with her body. "Oh gods," he whispered.

"It was not my fault!" she said, looking on the verge of tears.

He shook his head violently. "No, Ninian, of course it wasn't, oh, gods, I'm so sorry!" He looked at his hands again. They had committed many sins, and now, reminding the one he loved of some past trauma was added to the bloodstained list. "I can't believe I would be so brash, oh, gods, I'm a monster, aren't I, Ninian?"

"Eliwood," she said, eyebrows raised, "Please listen; I would be more than happy to fulfill your needs–"

"My needs be damned!" he said, blinking back tears, "Your own wellness is at stake, I can't believe I would just bumble into a situation that would hurt you so–"

"You're not hurting me!"

"Of course not, I would never, but it was stupid of me to–"

She silenced him with a kiss.

He broke away slowly, eyebrows raised in concern. "I'm sorry, I..."

Ninian smiled and brushed her hand against his cheek. This soothed his heart to some degree. "It's not the same," she said, "here and now." She paused. "It's better. You... You're better. You've proven yourself a good man."

"But don't you remember when I..." He trailed off, unable to complete the sentence.

She let him grow silent. "By now, dear, I... I know you," she said. "You truly want me to be happy, and that's..." She looked down and brushed a hand through her bangs. "That's something new to me, Eliwood."

He realized he was holding his breath, but he didn't dare to let it out.

"Your kindness and acceptance has always made me feel safe around you. Your presence is like... like a sanctuary. That's why I began to love you."

"But I–"

"But you mean well!" she said, wrapping her arms around him and snuggling in close. "You are a good man, and that's why I love you now."

"I love you too," he whispered.

She brushed a kiss across his lips. "So please know that I want this," she said, snaking her leg over his side. "I... want you. I want every part of you; I want to become yours and you to become mine. I want it so dearly." She chuckled quietly. "Is that selfish of me? I have been selfish for so much of my life."

Eliwood finally wrapped his arms around her back, and slowly caressed her spine. "It was selfish of me to even dream of being with you, but here we are," he said. "And as long as you live, please don't worry about that anymore. You've been through so much, a happy ending is the very least you deserve."

"Thank you," she whispered, and took his arm. 

Gently, she placed his hand over her breast where it had been a moment ago. A shiver ran up his spine at the cool, soft touch of her skin.

She kissed him softly. "Now may I ask for a little more?"


End file.
